Exploration of a Constantly Changing Mind

Do you know what I hate about homework? Whenever I try to do it, I feel like my mind will wander anywhere and everywhere else. Then I get ideas and say to myself "Oh! That would be good in a blog!". Then guess what happens. I forget all of these inspired thoughts and go back later that day to write my blog feeling cold, for lack of a better term. So I may leave things out. Actually, I'm sure I will. But that's alright. Now, let me see where to begin:

My Major
Is changing. Did I just shock someone? If so, you may want to sit down. It only gets more radical. As most of you know (well I hope you know, if you don't you probably don't need to be reading my blog) I am currently an English major. This was part of my, what I thought, infallible plan for law school. Well it turns out I didn't make such a great plan. But hang in there dear reader, I've got a new one. After series of events it came to my attention that I should be an engineering major. Yeah, I KNOW. Call me crazy, but I think I'm more cut out for this. I have no doubt that this will be an extremely difficult path but I have every confidence that I can make it. Even if I have to crawl. "What kind of engineer would you like to be?" you may ask. My immediate first thought was mechanical. After talking to my dad, I might do civil. I really don't know what I want yet. But I don't have to know right this minute. Let's get back to that whole 'law school' thing. I did some research and apparently I have a better chance of getting in with an engineering degree rather than English, Poly Sci, etc. Interesting, no? So to sum things up, I now have a two-pronged plan. If law school doesn't work I can still get a job. And in this day and age that says a lot.

I was walking around my house today and saw this. I think it's an ironic picture because even though my parents never pressured me to go to Tech, it was clearly my destiny all along. And it's just cute. :)

At this point I'm thinking, YEAH! Go Emily! That was a nice, strong paragraph. Now what? I am really struggling for a nice little segue. Well I don't have one! So I'll just jump to something else and hope that it works.

My Confidence

Fluctuates with my musical and/or academic achievement. I don't think I really noticed this until I started to not achieve my usual standard. Then I started to think I was pretty worthless. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that I am not the only one who knows where I'm coming from. But I'm here to announce that I was incorrect and so are you if you've felt like that before. I had intended to write a letter to my future self so I could read something positive next time I felt down and out. Unfortunately I was too sleepy that night and quickly fell asleep instead of staying up and being eloquent. Anyways, I've learned that self-worth shouldn't be based on how well you do in school or whether or not you play your instrument well. Because as soon as you don't ace a test or you fail to play the solo correctly, you feel like crap. But failure is inevitable. So it shouldn't make me or anyone else have less confidence. It's really about what you do once you've failed that matters. Do you keep trying or wallow in self pity? Just something to think about. 

Yesterday Lauren showed this to me and I just had to include it in this blog. I love this picture because I think it describes my personality perfectly. I'm fascinated by a praying mantis in case you can't actually see it on the pole.

I was going to include something about my life in the areas of boys and changes there, but I think I have written enough tonight. I guess you'll just have wait until next time ;)

~Em