I would put a warning/disclaimer on here about how you shouldn't read this. But I won't because I know if I do, you won't heed it. I mean you're already on my page. Annnd everybody knows if you tell someone NOT to do something, that just makes them want to do even it more. So using my irrefutable logic, I shall tell you not to read this. See what I did there?
I told myself earlier today that I would not blog until finals were over and then I could just blog my heart out giving a summary of the semester and all that good stuff. But here I am. At 1:30 in the morning on a Friday night before finals start. Blogging. Why? Because I have something to say, and it can't wait until next week.
As I started planning this blog out in my head I thought to myself, "why in the world would I want to write about my love life (or rather, lack there of) on a stupid blog?" I am pretty rational and level-headed. I don't like being one of those people who complains about their failed relationships. But you will see that this is not a typical "blog about boy drama". I guess I should dive in to my main story though, I have essentially written 3 introductory paragraphs. Did I get you hooked yet?
To make things simple, I'll try to keep the details at a minimum. So there was a boy who I was in a what you could call "pre-relationship" with. I say that because I wasn't super attached, but the opportunity was there for the taking if I so desired. Something about this relationship didn't seem right to me though. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. So I tried to come up with excuses as to why it wouldn't work. "He's a music major, he's quiet, yadda yadda yadda" Whatever. No matter what I what I told myself, as real as these reasons may sound, that wasn't the root of the problem. What was really going on was that I kept feeling guilty. It's like this voice in the back of my head was saying: "No. This is not a good idea. Turn back. Don't do this. Etc." I didn't tell anyone, not even my closest friend, about these thoughts. I figured I was just scared of a commitment or something like that. Maybe I am, but that's not what this is about.
It came to my attention that this boy was an intense drinker. I think I knew he drank but I was just kind of in denial about it and tried to tell myself he probably didn't do it much. FALSE. He can get really drunk and honestly I'm not interested in that kind of guy at all. "Why do you say that Emily?" you might ask. Well my friend, it's because I am a Christian. And I'm not going be to quiet about it either. I want a guy who is a Christian too, novel concept isn't it? So while I'm at it I'll just go ahead and tell you I'm a proponent of the Live31 movement. Haven't heard of it? Well watch this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WAFFMF4iZY&feature=youtu.be&a
Okay so maybe now you are thinking that drinking doesn't make you a terrible person and I shouldn't be so judgmental. Fine. I'll show another view point. This guy does crazy stuff when he his drunk, not unlike other drunk people. He tried to put his hand down one of my best friend's shirts and tried to make out with another girl too. Hm. Not attractive. Especially when I start to think about what he might do to ME if I was his girlfriend. I mean he is willing to do stuff to girls he doesn't even like. I sincerely hope that whoever reading this doesn't think I'm trying to gossip about this guy. That is not my intention at all. To me, he represents the universal college boy.
Before I get sidetracked let me make one more point and then I'll be through. At this point I could be saying to myself, "Ha! Called it! You're so good for seeing he was not the right choice." But you know what, I can't take all the credit for that voice telling me to turn back. Because it really isn't about me. I am not this wonderful person who is just so in tune all the time with what God wants for my life. I screw up just like everybody else.
Now I'm finished. Congratulations on reading this thing entirely through.
~Em
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